New Beginnings

Hope Springs eternal.
Life Begins anew.
Why can't I be happy AND chubby?
I CAN and know what I gotta do!

As I type this, I sit on a new chair, in a new living room, in a new city, in a new state.

I got tired of my old life and decided I deserved a better one. 
I found a new job as a technical designer at a new company, sold all of my earthly belongings with the optimistically grandiose intention of "starting fresh in a new life" (without realizing that replacing things you sort of love is a task easier said than done. DAMNYOUNAIVELYOPTIMISTICOUTLOOK.), packed up the kids and moved all the way across the country. 
So here I am, all shiny and new!
Some things haven't changed however. 

- I am still fat.
- I still live by my life's rule of only buying things that I love.
- I still have a super messy car (I've accepted the fact that this perhaps will never change and just moved the wrappers and clothes and papers and mail and beauty products and CD's and toys and work paraphernalia out of the way whenever a bold would-be passenger dares to accept a ride.)
- I am still unhappy.

The major source of my unhappiness is my appearance. To be perfectly honest, I dress pretty terribly for someone who works in the fashion industry. Embarrassingly terrible in fact. In my defense though, this whole BUY ONLY WHAT YOU LOVE philosophy is incredibly restrictive when you despise 99% of clothing that fits you! What am I supposed to do?!? Lose weight! yeahyeahyeah. Since starting a job at a more fashion forward company, I am more frustrated with plus size fashion now than I ever was. Apparently I gotta get all Gandhi on this if I want to be happy! This is daunting since a. I'm lazy and b. I'm lazy, but I'm going to do it! I have to at least try!
I am going to be the change I want to see. Thankfully life experiences and location have made me significantly more capable of doing that now. YAY!

Now, if only I could get up off this comfy chair...

Next Stop Rut-ville. Population, me.

Oy so I'm lazing out on my "make clothes for me" non-resolution. I'm just kinda like funk that ya kno? EVERY SINGLE DAY I wake up REALLY super psyched to get crackin on some slopers but by the time I get home from a fitting/number crunching/temple rubbing day at work, feed the sprouts and check my emailz&fb, I just can't bring myself to start drafting the like 20 or so looks I'd like to create for my spring wardrobe. What's more frustrating is I KNOW I'M the only one that will suffer because of this lazing&avoiding attitude. Some amazing life changing social event (like my 30th birthday on friday) will inevitably creep up and send me into a panicked GLAM SPIRAL, FORCING ME TO SHOP AGAIN, WHICH WILL IN TURN LEAVE ME FEELING DEFEATED AND FRUSTRATED AND DETERMINED TO RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE WITH CHALLENGING PROMISES I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP, PLACING ME RIGHT BACK WHERE I SIT TODAY PROCRASTINATING BY BLOGGING ABOUT HOW CRAPPY THINGS WILL BE IF I CONTINUE TO PROCRASTINATE. BREATHE ... BREATHE.... WOOoooooooooo.... . . . . namaste.

It's a vicious, hateful cycle. Ugly like Jesus sandals with knee-highs.

On the plus size (HAR) I've been working out and I'm down 5 lbs! HUZZAH! Yeah, its probably water weight BUT STILL how inspiring is that?!?!?!?
I'm considering getting a bodybugg because the chic over at le blog auhsem-- Token Fat Girl has one and I'm a shopping whore who can't bear to be outdone. Haha, I'll probably just sit around in it with branded workout clothes on looking all smugly informed and conscious, dramatically checking the watch reader while slowly nodding and making audible sounds of satisfaction. "ASK ME WHAT IT DOES. LET ME BLOW YOUR MIND."
I am so getting one for my birthday now....

Fashion Hacking: Avon Crusade Tote by Marimekko

I KNOW YOU WANT TO OWN THIS BAG. I got all glittery girly sparkle eyes when I saw it too. I don't even remember ordering it really, it was all just a blur of giggles and stories of how we met and how everyone else in the room just disappeared when we locked eyes...
This lovely is the Crusade Tote from AVON and its part of the Avon breast Cancer Crusade campaign. 100% of the net profits are donated to breast cancer research and patient care.
Style be damned, don't we all love doin good deeds? OH BUT LOOK AGAIN AT THE PICTURE! It's chic and philanthropic! AND ONLY TEN DOLLARS?!?!? Seriously like, what more could a stylish girl who wants to save the world ask for?

WELL...
This is what the Avon lady dropped off a short week later:

WTF?!?!?

Upon inspection I yelled out in my most Renaissance festival sounding accent, "This be not my beloved Crusade Tote! Nay, I say, this crumply heathen be an imposter swathed in the gloriousness that is Marimekko!"
Yes, well, at some point the voice of better sense and character dropped a, "For $10.00 what were you expecting?" bomb and an equally stinging, "This is for charity biatch. deal wit it."

Damn you voice of better sense and character and your righteous, sassy in-your-face-ness.

But because the voice is usually right and it is for charity and it was only $10, I couldn't give up on the tote. I figured it just needed some reconstructive surgery... of The Swan proportions...
WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY 1ST FASHION HACK EVA!!!!
Dunn dun duunnnn Dun dun dunn dun!!<- dramatic Fashion Hack entrance music

SAVING THE CRUSADE TOTE

I wanted my tote to be used as a knitting bag for travel, so it was important to me that it be soft but still rigid enough to stand up on its own, so all my expensive wooly shizz wouldn't end up dirty expensive wooly shizz. My plan was to add a layer of heavy interlining between the fabric and lining to give the bag more structure, and also to keep it from looking like an extra on Golden Girls.
First I checked out the insides. All handbags have an internal turning seam, usually at the lining's bottom seam. This bag was no different.

I opened up the turning seam with a seam ripper, turned the bag inside out and took measurements of the width (side seam to side seam) and height (from opening edge to fold for bottom). I didn't cover the bag's bottom because there was already a thick pad there and I really wanted it to be able to stand on its own (again due to fear of owning dirty shizz). Having the interlining's end at the edge where the bag sits gave the body extra stability.

I purchased the 2nd heaviest fusible available at Joann's and some hot pink thread. I cut out the front and back pieces using a rotary tool (so much faster and easier and cooler than scissors).
I undid the edgestitching along the top edge, scooted my fusible up to the bag's opening edge, fused it to the body and resewed the edgestitching (catching the fusible so it would stay in place even if the glue decided to die at some point in the future).
I turned the body right side out again-- which took patience and finessing since the body was more rigid, and resewed the lining turning seam.

After steam pressing the outside body and handles...

VOILÀ!

The bag was the perfectly perfect vision I had envisioned!!! I use it all the time now and it works perfectly for my needs!
SO very great when projects like this work out. Now I can lord over everyone with my charitable goody-goodyness with a fabulous looking bag.

So in conclusion, please order this bag from AVON! Haha, ok ok, I know this post has been anything but a gleaming testimonial, BUT I don't work for the company or anything, I just think it's a good deal on a tote that donates to a great cause. In a perfect world everyone benefits no?

Again, I truly don't want this post to be a deterrent from buying this product, but actually an example of what can be done to improve it if you are crafty and looking for a rigid tote bag to protect yo shizz.

COMPLETELY UNRELATED FABULOUSNESS: Hot Buttered French Bed

I'm in love.

Imagine rising from a mirrored vanity, silk dressing robe aflutter, to do a weary *one arm over forehead* collapse onto this beauty every evening...
Imagine how glamorous my as of yet non-existent spring wardrobe will look laid out upon a bed so regal...

Think of all the princess fantasies I could live out on this one piece of furniture! The only down side I could foresee would be all the other furniture in my house packing up and leaving out of sheer jealousy, shame and self loathing... but who could blame them really.

The French Bedroom Company never ceases to amaze and inspire.
TOO BAD THEY DON'T SHIP TO THE STATES YET. T_T

One day my lovely, one day you will be mine....

On a side note isn't this chair interesting?
Not cool in a "OMGIMUSTBUYIT" sorta way, but more like a if I saw this at a friend's house I would totally sit on it and inspect it and gush about it sort of way.

Question: Do you own any fantasy evoking furniture?

Friends who teach friends stuff are good friends.
-Me


Ok so my friend Amy in exchange for sweater construction and fitting lessons is going to teach me how to dye!!!! I'm so excited! The knitting possibilites will be endless! Really the only time I feel limited in the creation process is when I can't find the perfect yarn or fabric in the perfect color. Have you looked for red yarn lately? There's a billion colors available and they're all wrong.

So stifling.


And the fact that tie dye is set to be really big this spring only fuels my joy!

Not feeling the tie dye eh? BAM. Here's some inspiration fo ya:

I want to make a canvas bag, and I figure if I limit myself to only 1 or 2 colors it won't drift into scary hippy territory...


QUESTION: Ye or Nay on the tie dye movement that's blooming this spring?

Stage One: Defining Needs

"Style is primarily a matter of instinct."
-Bill Blass

I was looking through my horde stash of patterns and fabrics, reviewing my haves and have nots and it dawned on me: I have no outline of what it is that I feel is missing from plus fashion. What are my needs? What are my wants?
Since I'm on mandatory vacation from work (strep throat blah!) I figured now would be as good a time as any to define my style so that I can continue on my path of focused, conscious and happy dressing.

MY MUST HAVE LIST:

• DETAIL/ART/DRAMA.
• RELATIVE MINIMALISM TO SHOWCASE SAID DETAIL/ART/DRAMA.
• STRUCTURE
• BALANCED PROPORTION
• POMERANIANS
  

That last bit wasn't really related to this but there's always time for a cute break, no?

Awwwwww lookkit his wittle puff tail!!! ^_^

Now down to bidness

INSPIRATIONAL DESIGNERS:


My absolute favorite wearable clothing designer:

Chado Ralph Rucci

all three looks from the Spring 2010 show

I think their ability to make flawless engineering and advanced technical expertise appear so light and easy and effortless is what just blows mah freakin mind.

O_O gimme a moment to gather mah brains...

Marc Jacobs

looks are from Marc Jacobs Spring 2010.

His work is always innovative, always fashion forward, and always a little bit crazy grandma.

Doesn't the first dress looks like a watercolor ghost-wash pen and ink illustration on a photograph?!?!

BALMAIN

looks from Balmain Spring 2010.

Edgy and femme. I would love to wake up and be this woman everyday. This is why I sob quietly to myself in the dressing rooms of Torrid.

Anna Sui

looks from Anna Sui Spring 2010

She puts so much research into her incredible pieces, she should be better known just for all the homework required to produce her lines. Pattern and color are used fearlessly in her world.

Honorable Mention because they are too fabulous to NOT mention:
Dior (couture), Alexander McQueen R.I.P., Issa, Celine, Victor & Rolf and Pringle of Scotland.

OK.

So the point of this excerise was to find looks I felt in one way or another embodied or reflected my ideal personal style. From the pictures it's obvious that I like color and drama and girly with a little edge.

Doing this periodically will help keep me from buying "good idea at the time" items. I have a tendency to buy things that have one design element I adore, but then realize when I get home that it ultimately isn't my style and doesn't go with anything else I own.

Denim banana peel skirt I'm talking about you...

Never again!

Step One: Acknowledgement

While clothes may not make the woman, they certainly have a strong effect on her self-confidence - which, I believe, does make the woman.
-Mary Kay Ashe

In simple terms, I love clothes. There is however, one underlying issue that plagues me every time I go shopping, crack open a fashion magazine or even peek into my closet. Fashion doesn't seem to like me. In fact, I would go as far as to say that fashion summarily detests me, and if it could get away with it would pay large sums to build a secret island where people like me could be sent to be forgotten by the rest of society. Yes, fashion hates my kind and it's all because of one small yet significant fact. We are fat.

This past New Years Day was not only a day of realization for me but also the tipping point. I had planned to take full advantage of the New years day sales and skipped out of the house on what I thought would be an adventure in self rediscovery, only to return home empty handed with what was left of my appearance-self-esteem slightly bruised. The plus size sections and shops were tragically scary clones of one another! Irrelevance and mundanity abound. Fields of boring over-sized cotton tees, same old pants, and shiny cheap looking muu-muu like tops. That wrap dress we've seen for three years straight was there, hoping I'd be duped by the new old color. When I thought I'd found some gems, hopes were quickly dashed when I realized some missy racks had encroached into the designated plus section. "Bastards," I thought, "now they want our land...". Anything promising that was to be found was offered in unsophisticated color palettes (honestly, does neon green look good on anyone in real life?), or was nesting doll sized from a missy style (more on nesting doll sizing in a future post) making it unsuitable for any plus size woman's body. But being the eternal optimist, I continued my search, fighting through rack after rack of boring and blah, boring and blah until finally I had to exclaim, "Why are there no cool/flattering/high quality clothes for big girls?! Are there no fat girls in Paris?"


Now, while it should be said that I am working towards weight loss goals; the very popular "lose weight, fatty" reasoning is ridiculous with regards to fashion for two major reasons. First, it implies that fat people are unworthy of things of beauty, quality and value and therefore because of their size are and should be regarded as lesser people, and second, it makes it seem like losing weight is very easy and happens overnight, so there is no reason fatties can't put down the cupcakes, hit the treadmill for an hour and make a shopping trip tonight in time for (insert fun social activity here).

Because healthy weight loss takes time (years even), and I want to look fab NOW, I've decided to take action. I've made a pledge to myself (I refuse to call it a resolution) that I will honor my style and not buy anything that I don't love, or is irrevocably ill fitting. I'm even gonna get ballsy and go a step further in saying that this year, to fill the clothing gaps I will undoubtedly create due to my first non-resolution, I will design and MAKE clothing for myself. Honestly, that last part really isn't as out there as it sounds since I actually am a clothing designer and work in the technical design field for a living... BUT STILL. THIS IS HUGE.

I discussed with friends my decision to cast away the stigmas of fat girl fashion and heard lots of empathetic commiseration and positive feedback. Because of this I decided to blog about my experience. I'm doing this for myself, for them and for all the other style conscious plump ladies out there who share my grievances.
Perhaps together we can start a revolution.